"Where to"

Today coming out of the acad block, literally throwing my answer sheet towards invigilator, on the presumed last pen-paper exam of my life, I felt like running. I was running away from the block, from the heaps of lectures I ve attended in my lifetime, bounds of knowledge I ve supposedly gained, oodles of wisdom I ve garnered, mounts of confidence that this all has put in me. I wanted to run away from All of it.

I had a lot of things in my mind, old stories seeping in, how ive constructed way arounds, to beat supposed education, how i tried to run out before, but couldnt, how i dint do what i dint like, but the next day i was doing the thing, writing something, copying something of some extraterrestrial relevance, coz on Earth I could not find it relevant to learn the nomenclature of Panthera Tigris of any relevance for me.

I tried a lot to learn, I tried to score marks, coz that was supposed to be everything one could aim in life for, it was the need as well as societal recoginition, it was the goal, the entire life (till now), for writing papers and w8in for marks.

The cycle was very simple, atleast for me, pushed to learn things that dint make sense to me, so not doing them, then scribbling three hours every quarter to write things that i dint know, then for praying for good numbers in my report, and then not getting them, and then pushed to learn things that dint make sense...

With time, i actually gained wisdom, and the pinnacle of wisdom was acheived when it glanced upon me that no one in the entire education system gave shit about education. Not a human cared that what was learning, what was that i was supposed to know, what characterstics could and should have been instilled, coz they were all checking papers, and that takes a lot of time.

"Education" was never enough.

I was still running out of the examination hall, with the question sheet in my hand, which I glouriously answered in 90 minutes. I was still trying to run away, and suddenly a thought drips into my mind and I slow down, and I say "Where to"???

After all those years in schools, I ve learnt only one thing, writing papers, that too not perfectly. Now I have no where to go, no more marks to be scored, no more prayers every quarter. Now what will I do, its all over. All goals of life have been done with (not fulfilled, but done with).

Still pondering over it, and I am sure I will find some way, but lets hope I dont waste next 23 years of my life, just trying to fit in and cramming the integration of cot x.